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Shamanic Healing of "Cursed by a Former Partner!"

Case Report From
Michael J. Meredith, Shamanic Practitioner


A client reported being very distressed after being cursed by a former partner. The incident shows a common pattern whereby psychic attack is facilitated and mediated by a good measure of subconscious, self-sabotaging "psychic self-attack".

He had mistreated this partner via deceipt and lying and when the truth came out, as it so often does, the relationship broke up and she angrily prophesied [cursed him] that one day a partner would treat him this way and "..Then you will know how it feels!!"

Despite a lot of bravado, self-defence and self-justification at the time - blaming peer pressure and a weak addictive personality [low self-esteem] for his behaviour, at a deeper level he knew that he had wronged her deeply, and her deeply-wounded, angry karmic-assignment that: "You have sown - and will therefore reap! - great pain and loss in the future!" was enhanced and potentiated by his own sub-conscious self-hatred. The result was an internalised bitterness-and-revenge-laden curse that definitely put him on a course to live it out for a long time to come.

In a situation like this many people will have no sympathy for someone guilty of deceptively cruel and abusive behaviour to a partner, but from a healer's perspective, no amount of suffering of the perpetrator will fully heal the wounds of the 'victim' nor, on its own, help the partner to create a trustworthy and nourishing relationship in the future.

From a healer's perspective, both parties are 'victims' of their own past influences and both are likely to struggle to create secure and fulfilling relationships in the future, until past woundedness and self-sabotaging relationship-patterns are fixed, and their self-esteem fully restored.

When a new partner came along some years later, he had forgotten the curse of his past partner, but subconsciously was greatly afraid of being deceived by his new partner. This drove a lot of over-controlling behaviour towards her.

He was not consciously aware of his deep-seated insecurity [he was more aware of hers] or his over-controlling behaviour. It was one of those classic "Tarzan and Jane" [not necessarily restricted to that gender combination!] co-dependent relationships where on the surface one partner tends to take on the role of being the "clingy" dependent one, and the other takes on the role of being a "parental control" figure.

Actually both partners tend to be both clingy and controlling (manipulative) in such relationships, though much of this goes on at a subtle level. I speak from a past experience of being in that type of relationship!

In true YinYang fashion, OVER-CONTROLLING BEHAVIOUR always works to create an inevitable LOSS OF CONTROL, and in her attempt to create some personal space for herself, his new partner felt compelled to deceive him.

Although only a minor deception, it was enough to precipitate a breakdown into his old pattern of alcohol dependency, which he thought he had safely left behind. Luckily, as a result of some earlier sessions, he was now equipped with greater self-awareness plus some healthy stress management practices, so he was able to get a grip on himself and come for help before a vicious-cycle descent into self-abusive and other-abusive behaviour cost him another relationship.


In the healing session, digging into the trigger moment for this breakdown (via reflective breathwork) brought on a physical manifestation of the psychic self-attack which was occurring. This took the form of a severe neck pain ("getting it in the neck") plus an alarming throat chakra block - a classical trigger of addictive behaviour.

Digging into these physical symptoms further, unearthed into consciousness the internalised but long-buried words of the curse that his former partner had laid on him.

Below this cognitive sub-conscious level, was an even deeper level of suppressed great pain - anguish, guilt and self-recrimination for how he had treated his past partner and his sincere desire never to repeat that.

Some cathartic release work was able to clear the emotional/physical/spiritual negative charge on that old memory. This opened up the required insights into the dynamics of what had happened then - and was in acute danger of being recreated! As the insights opened up and emotional release was activated, the client's physical symptoms dramatically disappeared.

Dialogue with the former partner [who had been able to learn, grow and move on from her experience] transformed the old memory** so that he was at last able to find self-forgiveness, accompanied by a new feeling of lightness, inner peace, and of "EASE" [harmonious flow without insecurity-driven over-control] in his new relationship.


** We all carry some responsibility for the life-experiences we are creating in the present moment, and will create in the future. When it comes to NOW-REGRETTED past experiences, sometimes we take excessive responsibility in the sense that our actions were to some extent driven by what had gone in our early lives e.g. lack of good role models, lack of skilful parenting or unhelpful peer or media influences. Learning and growing from the past is crucial to out future happiness, but once we have seen the error of our ways and made amends, continuing to punish ourself, or allowing others to over-punish us, does not serve anyone's future - it just keeps us all trapped in RE-LIVING & RE-CREATING the past.


It has been wisely said that No-one can undermine us without our [sub-conscious] permission!...Curses tap into our own [sub-conscious] capacity for self-sabotage!

We hold onto curses or other bad-mouthings, because....

a) We have a vulnerabilty!

b) The curse serves a sub-conscious purpose of ours - a learning/growth one, or a self-punitive one!

To be human is to be somewhat vulnerable. Fortunately such natural innate human vulnerability is readily fixed by loving support from family or friends, or even strangers, which allows up to bounce back into life and self-confidence.

If loving support and reassurance is not enough to clear the CURSE, then it has attached to, or triggered, a fundamental weakness in our energy-field self-inflation system.

When our vulnerability has been repaired, we regain our ability are able to maintain the inflation of our auric field and maintain our personal boundaries against intrusions - some curses now simply bounce off us, while others become energies that we can harness and transform for our own purposes.

When the integrity of the auric field is sustainably restored [no more self-sabotage], any existing internalised intrusions/attachments are released - because they no longer have a place to attach - to feed on for the energy that all living entities need for survival!

Any curse that you are holding at the moment is a gift in the sense that it is a cord connecting you to a weakness in your own auric field.

As Hughlings Jackson, a famous pioneer of neurology once said...

"The study of the causes of things, must be preceded by the study of things caused!"

Mindfulness Approaches can be every helpful to the "Uncovering + New Insights" process. "Inner Demon of Self-sabotage" work is usually also needed, if the repair process is to be sustainable, address pre-existing low self-esteem AND bring new 'Blessings' into our life.

Ultimately there will be some healing work to be done, but healing/self-healing never goes well when it is attempted from a place of high anxiety [insecurity/fear] and low spirits [the helplessness/powerlessness shown by continuing to hold onto a curse]. So before effective (self-)healing/(self-)release of the curse-symptoms can occur, some anxiety-reduction/spiritual uplift/self-sabotage deconstruction/ work is often required.


Curses tap into our own [sub-conscious] capacity for self-sabotage!

The psychodrama of magical curse-removal ["EXTRACTION"] rituals and incantations counteracts the negative-suggestion of the curse, but does not repair the pre-existing vulnerability which led to the curse being so damagingly internalised. This requires some unravelling of the reasons for the curse victim's poor boundary-security and low spiritual energy.

Poor boundary security often arises from poor groundedness in the body, low emotional intelligence skills [which negatively influences chakra function/aura inflation] and/or a tendency to form entangled co-dependent relationships.

A curse-acceptance incident can be scary and debilitating but actually IT IS A GIFT! - an awakening of the need for some healing of the past plus some lifeskills training to build better self-security for the future!


*Toxic Relationships     *Soul-Mate Relationships
Clear Toxic Self-sabotaging Emotions     *Deal with Verbal Abuse

*Index of Project Reports

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Practical application of Shamanism Skills in Holistic Healing 2011 2016