Transform Frustration, Disempowerment, Creative Block & Self-Sabotage Emotions
...is a key player in constructive co-creative relationships at work or in the home, it does not judge or label another person in the way that aggression and hostility do, or seek to damage them in the way that hatred does. It is simply a non-attacking, natural, appropriate level, response to specific actions or attitudes that are causing frustration or distress.The problem is that we are often too angry, hurt, upset, irritated or frustrated to communicate our anger in a healthy, measured, focussed and situationally appropriate way! This is why training in "anger catharsis" release skills can be life-saving to our jobs, relationships, quality of sleep and 'peace of mind'.
Anger Cathartic Clearing techniques are a group of 'safe-discharge' ['safety-valve'] practices for 'taking the top off' our anger so that it doesn't overwhelm us and we can focus it and express it in situationally-appropriate and goal-directed ways. We teach these key life-skills in a safe, encouraging and supported environment in our "Anger" course [see below].
The group of powerful feelings and impulses that get lumped together under the title "ANGER" HAS GREAT FORCE BUT ZERO INTELLIGENCE! but denying or repressing our anger, rage, bitterness, resentment, jealousy, aggression, hostility, irritation or frustration is not the answer....
"You are a (wo)man, therefore you will sometimes be 'angry'. To repeatedly hide such feelings is to increase their force a thousand times!" [Shaolin wisdom]
Disconnection from the emotional truth of our frustration/rage etc. can happen when are trying to go too directly towards POSITIVITY, or being 'A NICE, LOVABLE PERSON' or 'BEING SPIRITUAL'! When this happens we not only become 'unreal' ['split off', 'flakey', 'space cadet', dissociated] to others but also lose vitality, partly because of disconnection from the feeling energies we have bottled-up and partly because the bottling process itself is a constant drain on our will-power.
CONSTRUCTIVE USE of ANGER... "Healthy communication of anger is focussed on concrete things [specific incidents] and does not generalise. It is aimed at changing specific things [that are causing problems]. In a healthy relationship the other's anger can be respected as an expression that something in the relationship is not right. In other words, anger can be used to work on improving the relationship. Anger that helps to establish healthy boundaries allows the relationship to develop to new levels." [from "Symbiotic Trauma and Love Beyond Entanglements" details: UK/Europe, USA/International]
Destructive Emotions as Good Servants, Bad Masters or Depressed Prisoners
BURNOUT 'ANGER' COURSES 'ANGER' RESOURCES 'ANGER' IN CHILDREN
Anger: Good Servant! Bad Master! Sad Prisoner!
BACKGROUND TO OUR FRUSTRATION & ANGER MANAGEMENT COURSES, SEMINARS & WORKSHOPS
Burnout - Creative Block - Writer's Block - Artist's Block - Demotivation - Deadness
Burnout: In the absence of medical conditions, 'Off track', 'scattering energy', 'control dramas**' and 'self-imprisonment' are common underlying causes of low energy [feeling dis-spirited!]. 'Creative Over-balance' can be another source of burnout - trying to be constantly creative and not balancing creativity with destructivity [Yin with Yang!].
If you have been creatively over-balancing, you will need to do some destructive stuff to restore natural balance - not mindlessly destructive activities, but focussed destruction - i.e. cathartically clearing frustrations which have accumulated and been bottled-up over a period of time, then in a more measured way finding the aspects of current lifestyle that need 'destroying' in order to move forward.
[** 'Control Dramas' = patterns of thinking and behaving that are basically about avoiding REAL, bottled-up feelings & impulses]
Losing motivation, energy and enthusiasm for life or work is an increasingly common problem. In order to move forward we need to take a step back - Letting Go! as in "When you are in a hole, stop digging!". Then take stock of our current approach that is not working, plus harness the enormous power and creativity that lies within all human beings [CATHARSIS] that lies hidden within our present negative attitude and (self-)destructive impulses. Luckily in these situations, low-energy is a natural self-cure phenomenon, encouraging us to reap the benefits of 'Letting Go!' - if we can just learn to trust and work with it!
Inappropriate angry outbursts can cost us our job, a friendship, a marriage partnership, the love and respect of others, self-respect, self-esteem, happiness, success and general personal effectiveness in family or workplace. Anger is an emotion that can make us feel powerful, self-righteous or "potent" but it is highly addictive and anger addiction damages our health, especially factors leading to high blood pressure, strokes and heart attacks. Anger is an emotion that has great power but lacks intelligence (wisdom) so it is a very poor decision-maker!
Angry feelings that we repress and "stuff down" are equally damaging, and far more insidious. "Held-in" negative feelings about ourselves and others are the main source of self-sabotage (autosabotage). As this self-sabotage blocks our success in one or more key areas of our life, it generates yet more negative judgements, negative feelings and negative "body-language", which then creates more self-sabotage. So thereby, a vicious cycle of self-perpetuating self-sabotage is created and maintained. Holding-in powerful emotions like anger can also cause hypertension and be a contributory factor to many chronic disease processes.
Depression and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME) are terribly frustrating experiences which are made worse by angry feelings, rage or aggression that gets turned inwards (e.g. self-hatred, self-resentment, self-attack, self-harming) in a vicious cycle of downward spiral in our energy and self-esteem, while draining our energy in a vain bid to keep up a cheerful, coping, "normal" image to the outside world. Self-harm and Self-mutilation are the ultimate expressions of desperate, frustrated, destructive feelings turned inwards on ourself.
Emotional Intelligence: In our anger management courses and workshops you will be given tips, exercise and encouragement to:
- Differentiate between emotions of anger/rage/hostility/aggression/hatred
- Understand the Causes, Prevention, Management & Healing of heated, destructive feelings
- Feel supported in the expression of appropriate, constructive angry feelings
- Release held-in excessive or inappropriate anger
- Find and cut-off the roots (triggers) of any repeated or persistent "feeling angry"
- Express authentic, appropriate, self-empowering, healthy anger
- Stay in control when your angry feeling threaten to take you over
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Recommended Reading / Study Resources List for Anger/Rage/Frustration
Frustration, Road Rage etc: More Resources:Deal with Frustration & Irritation
Peace is not Absence of Conflict - Peace is Handling Conflict by Peaceful Means
Conflict Management Training: Conflict Management Course Content
Face up to Aggression & Hostility: Manage Conflict & Anger Management Resources
Deal with Hate, Hating, Hatred - how to cope
Strategies for coping with chronic Stress
Emotional Intelligence - Self-Help Courses & Workshops: UK Stress Management Seminars 2013 2014
Self-Defence - personal security self discipline
Bullying - Harassment - Victimisation in School or Workplace
SELF-SABOTAGE - Were Does It Come From? & How do You Stop It!
The Law of Attraction. The amazing documentary film on DVD: "The Secret" which features a panel of international "happiness and success" gurus, accompanied by an array of real-life examples, drawing on five thousand years of science, psychology and mysticism for key tips on how and why you can create the future of your dreams - happiness, love, joy fame, wealth, relationships, adventures, top sports performance etc.A really life-transforming experience full of simple, practical, everyday tips on how to transform your health, wealth, relationships and happiness..
These "change your life for the better" teachers, with the help of actors acting out dramatic scenes, teach the keys to making your affirmations, ambitions, dreams, prayers and visualisations actually work this time! The experts are a team of psychologists, psychotherapist, spiritual masters, physicists, sports performance trainers, wealth creation gurus etc.
"Beyond Anger: A Guide for Men - How to Free Yourself from the Grip of Anger and Get More Out of Life" (Buy New or Used). "A Volcano in My Tummy: Helping Children to Handle Anger: a Resource Book for Parents,
Caregivers and Teachers" (Amazon reviews & order pages: Amazon.com Amazon UK)
Activities, exercises, guidelines and principles to deal with angry emotions in an individual child or a group of kids. Useful for school social workers and child therapists. Some of the "lessons" are suitable for preschool children's classes.
"Those Ugly Emotions!" (Amazon reviews & order pages: Amazon.com Amazon UK) "Loving What Is: How 4 Questions Can Change Your Life" by Byron Katie:
The art of turning negative experiences into a positive ones (Amazon order pages for the book & CD: Amazon UK Amazon.com)
"Women Who Run with the Wolves: Contacting the Power of the Wild Woman". Undoubtedly the most significant women's book of the twentieth century. A massive and incredibly perceptive book - a darn good read/browse/reference. Second-hand copies are available cheaply on this Amazon UK page. Also useful for the men in your life to read, so that they might understand you/relate to you better! The lessons are nicely illustrated with archetypal mythic stories e.g. the classic myth of the "red shoes". "Crones Don't Whine" (Mature Personal Qualities for Women) "If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat " (see Manifest Your Vision) - A Christian approach to realising our dreams. Some useful tips for non-Christians also.
UK Courses & Workshops: Personal Development, Stress & Healing
Private Coaching in Anger & Stress Management
Laughter Yoga to Relieve Stress & Reduce Tension